Just Don’t Ask Me to Wash Your Feet
By Laura Way
When I was writing my wedding vows, one of the things I was excited to include was to seek to do my husband “good, and not harm” all the days of my life (Proverbs 31:12).
Ten years later, the not doing him harm part still feels straightforward. We’re a fairly low-conflict couple. I usually say please when I ask him for something. I don’t badmouth him to my mom or friends. And I have never once frozen his underwear or spit in his food to spite him.
Pretty good, right?
But the actual doing him good part? That’s a little trickier. That would require going above the bare minimum. And honestly? That takes a lot more effort.
After not quite enough sleep or a day filled with constant requests from our two young children, I’m not usually looking for ways to actively serve and bless my husband. And if I’m not intentional, my autopilot becomes a complicated calculus of “who’s worked harder today.” If I feel like that’s me, then I often feel entitled to be served rather than do the serving.
Yikes. That doesn’t exactly reflect the Jesus we see washing His disciples’ feet and laying down His very life for His beloved (see John 13:1-20). I’m barely willing to lay down five minutes of “me time” some days.
Doing my husband good all the days of my life probably isn’t going to mean laying down my actual life. Most days, it’s found in small choices to bless him—meeting his eyes and greeting him intentionally when he comes in, making a point to affirm him verbally, clearing off a surface I know he enjoys seeing tidy, or offering him 20 minutes after work to decompress without expecting something in return.
A little effort goes a long way in loving our spouses well, and in the end, we’ll find Jesus’ words ring true: “It is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35). In a one-flesh marriage, blessing your spouses blesses you, too.
The Good Stuff: “The Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” (Matthew 20:28)
Action Points: Think of a time in your day when you could bless your spouse: your morning routine, kids’ bedtime, after the kids go to bed (bow-chica-bow-wow), or any time in between. Choose one thing that will bless them and see if you can create a habit out of it! Or make a list and rotate through it.
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